Question: Whenever I develop an emotional connection with a romantic person, I tend to feel anxiety with that connection. I irrationally fear that she could reject me without any reason to support that idea. As a result of this anxiety, I feel very much (irrationally) worried that she will reject me and walk away from me. If a rejection does occur, it's going to trigger an extreme depression and profound emotional pain that's almost unmanageable.

My therapist believes this could be because of rejection-sensitive dysphoria. I have a history of this happening to me before where a romantic person walks away from my life and every time it happens, it triggers an extreme sadness where I've cried so intensely and felt profoundly sad. Yes, I understand that rejection by a romantic person is possible and that it is always sad to experience, but in my particular case, it's not a sadness that I feel. It's an extreme depression that lasts way longer than it should and with very slow day-by-day improvement.

I need help with this. Why does this happen to me? What is the cause of it? How can I overcome it?

~Anonymous

When I share about overcoming codependency, people pleasing, and perfectionism, people often respond with concerns that making these changes will lead to them being disliked, rejected, and even abandoned. If I ask my partner for what I need, they might leave me. If I don’t agree to pick up a shift for my coworker, they might not want to be friends anymore. If I make a decision that my family doesn’t like, they may criticize and reject me.